By Ken Reed
The Huffington Post
October 1, 2013
The fall is a busy time of year for youth sports. If you take a short drive on a weekday evening — or just about any time during a weekend — within a few miles you’re sure to find boys and girls playing soccer, football, softball, lacrosse, tennis, and undoubtedly, a few sports I’ve left out. It’s a joy to watch kids running around and having fun playing sports. Especially on a beautiful fall day.
However, the problem with these games is there are too many adults who bring their egos to the fields of play. Virtually every youth sports league is plagued by adults who are pathologically focused on winning. Yes, the majority of parents and coaches keep youth sports in perspective but it only takes a few adults — especially coaches — to ruin the sports experience for a bunch of kids.
Of course, the issue of overbearing parents and coaches in youth sports isn’t a new one. However, things are getting worse. For example, the number of incidents of physical violence and verbal abuse at youth sporting events has increased significantly in recent years. According to the National Alliance for Youth Sports, approximately 15% of youth sports games involve a confrontation between parents, between parents and officials, between parents and coaches, or between coaches and officials — up from five percent just five years earlier. Moreover, a National Association of Sports Officials survey found that the primary reason game officials give up the job is poor sportsmanship by parents.
To put it simply, as parents and coaches, we need to chill out. Our sons and daughters aren’t going to be pro athletes and it’s extremely unlikely they will receive a college athletic scholarship. The percentage of kids that reach these levels is miniscule.
The NCAA estimates that only 3/100ths of one percent of male high school basketball players and 9/100ths of one percent of high school football players will play their sport professionally. The figures are even bleaker for girls. For example, only 2/100ths of one percent of all high school female basketball players will play pro ball. Moreover, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, only about one percent of 8th graders will end up receiving some financial aid to play NCAA Div. I athletics. That includes partial scholarships. The percentage receiving full athletic scholarships is even smaller.
So let’s relax, and more importantly, let our kids relax. Research shows that nearly 80 percent of all children who play adult-organized youth sports drop out by the time they’re 12. The reason most often cited is that it’s no longer fun.
Can you blame them? Today, by the time most kids reach the age of 12 they’ve been involved in some type of adult-organized youth sport for six or seven years. They’ve witnessed numerous incidents of “grown-ups” yelling at players, officials and coaches. They’ve probably experienced several grueling post-game critiques of their play by Coach or Mom or Dad. They’ve survived many seasons of adults screaming at them to “stay in position,” “get back on defense,” and “be more aggressive.” More and more kids — some as young as 10 — are now being encouraged by “well-meaning” adults to specialize in a single sport in order to increase their chances of landing a college scholarship.
This coming Saturday, all over the United States, young kids will wake up with a sense of dread in their stomachs because they fear Mom and/or Dad’s intense scrutiny at their game that day. When kids see how important their games are to their parents they get anxious. To a lot of young athletes, sports just aren’t games to play, they’re vehicles by which they gain or lose the affection of the most important people in their lives. What started out as fun is now a pressure-filled exercise. Children are always seeking a sense of unconditional love from their parents and when it comes to sports participation they seldom get it.
And when they go off to practice, they often have to deal with a coach that’s more drill sergeant than educator. For some reason, our culture glorifies jerks like Bobby Knight and Vince Lombardi. As such, we have parent coaches all over our youth sports system berating kids in the mode of General Patton. We believe good coaches have to “kick some tail” in order to be successful. What total nonsense! Kids, whether they’re 8 or 18 shouldn’t have to endure boot camp in order to play the sport they love.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with adult-organized youth sports. They can be the source of wonderful, healthy and happy experiences for children — if adults can balance their desire to win, with the holistic development of kids, and having fun. Striving to win isn’t the problem; it’s the win-at-all-costs mentality — and the actions it spawns — that is the problem.
And guess what? Helping to ensure that sports remain fun for kids is also the best way to enhance the chances of long-term success. If adults make sports fun for kids, there’s a good chance they’ll develop a passion for the game. When that happens, they’ll be intrinsically motivated to succeed and they won’t need coaches or parents constantly pushing them.
As sociologist Alfie Kohn notes, “Nothing, according to the research, predicts excellence like finding the task fun.”
It seems to me that if we can help our sons and daughters enjoy sports, teach them life skills as well as sports skills, spur a lifelong appreciation for physical activity, and make sure they participate with a sense of integrity and sportsmanship, we’ve done our jobs as parents and youth sports coaches.
Ken Reed is Sports Policy Director for League of Fans
Sports Forum Podcast
Episode #26 – League of Fans’ Sports Forum podcast: How Can We Fix Youth Sports? – John O’Sullivan is Founder and CEO of Changing the Game Project and author of “Changing the Game: The Parents Guide to Raising Happy, High Performing Athletes and Giving Youth Sports Back to Our Kids.” We discuss overzealous adults in youth sports, the dangers of sport specialization, youth sports entrepreneurs and the profit-at-all-costs mindset, and the growing socio-economic gap in youth sports.
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Episode #25 – League of Fans’ Sports Forum podcast: Physical Education Should Be a Critical Component of K-12 School Design – Michael Horn is co-founder of the Clayton Christensen Institute for Disruptive Innovation.
Episode #24 – League of Fans’ Sports Forum podcast: Mental Health and Athletes: Ending the Stigma – Nathan Braaten and Taylor Ricci are the founders of Dam Worth It, a non-profit created to end the stigma around mental health at colleges and universities through sport, storytelling, and community creation.
Episode #23 – League of Fans’ Sports Forum podcast: Olympian Benita Fitzgerald Mosley Talks Title IX, Youth Sports and the Olympics.
Episode #22 – League of Fans’ Sports Forum podcast: Rethinking Sports Fandom with Author Craig Calcaterra – We discuss Calcaterra’s new book “Rethinking Fandom: How to Beat the Sports-Industrial Complex at Its Own Game” and explore new ways to be a fan.
Episode #21 – League of Fans’ Sports Forum podcast: Chatting About a Broken Game With Baseball Writer Pedro Moura – Moura is a national baseball writer for Fox Sports. We discuss how and why the game of baseball is broken, what factors caused it, and offer a few thoughts on how to “fix” a great game.
Media"How We Can Save Sports" author Ken Reed appears on Fox & Friends to explain how there's "too much adult in youth sports."
Ken Reed appears on Mornings with Gail from KFKA Radio in Colorado to discuss bad parenting in youth athletics.
“Should College Athletes Be Paid?” Ken Reed on The Morning Show from Wisconsin Public Radio
Ken Reed appears on KGNU Community Radio in Colorado (at 02:30) to discuss equality in sports and Title IX.
Ken Reed appears on the Ralph Nader Radio Hour (at 38:35) to discuss his book The Sports Reformers: Working to Make the World of Sports a Better Place, and to talk about some current sports issues.
- League of Fans Sports Policy Director Ken Reed quoted in Washington Post column titled "What happened to P.E.? It’s losing ground in our push for academic improvement," by Jay Mathews
League of Fans is a sports reform project founded by Ralph Nader to fight for the higher principles of justice, fair play, equal opportunity and civil rights in sports; and to encourage safety and civic responsibility in sports industry and culture.
Sports & Torts – Ken Reed, Sports Policy Director, League of Fans – at the American Museum of Tort Law
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